Ups and Downs..

Boy am I tired of those.. yeah I know life is full of them, but I am DONE with them I tell ya.

This past month has been very very hard. As always so much to post about, I need to do this more often and yes I think about it, but typing it out again and again, looking and thinking about all the crap in my life just makes me more stressed.

So let's go back to April. I can't remember too much of April, so it must have been a pretty good month. I think most of April was. May is when it all got busy and hard again. Things were a bit hectic trying to get Easter things done and Michael's 2 parties, house cleaned, things bought and just a bunch of things done. But I did it. We had so much fun. Michael had a family party which his dad and Grandpa and Grandma Oaks came to, along with my side of the family. Many people as always. Then he had his kid birthday, a Star Wars party. With a cake Grandma made, a pinata, games, goodie bags, and events planned. BUSY! I think he had 10 friends show up.. ack! So yep. he is now 6. I also got my braces on a week after his birthday. They hurt so much I can't even tell ya, for the first 2-3 weeks. The I have had about a good month and now I can really feel the pressure on them. I also think with all the stressors lately, I have been holding them in my mouth and jaw with grinding, popping, or gnawing away at my teeth/jaw. OUCH. I have always wanted braces to get straight Great looking teeth. My now I have TMJ that is putting some pains in my jaw that they thought now was the time to give this a try. If it does not work, I have to look into jaw surgery.. ugh

KC told us the week before Michael's party that he was moving to Tennessee. He had found a job and was going to be moving. Well when he got down there, the whole job thing was a scam and he ended up with nothing. He sold just about everything (entertainment centers, bad, car, drums, table, tools, all of it!!) he had and went down there with only 2 bags and nothing else. He took a few weeks off, job hunted a bit but didn't find a lot of places hiring. He ended up moving to Oklahoma for a job and now living in a house with 3 other people he found on Craigslist, but not making much $ at all.

Speaking of houses, mine is STILL NOT refinanced. ugh what a pain. We started this whole process in February and with so many people trying to get it done, it was taking forever. Now they say they can't do anything until the end of June at least since they need 1 solid year of income and I have not worked outside the home for a year yet until the end of June. They would have counted KC's child support he started to pay last May, but he missed 2 months, so then again not a solid year of payments. I need this done, saving $300 a month will help me a ton right now. Things are looking real bad again.Not sure HOW I will ever come out of this or WHEN.

As I said earlier the month of May was nuts. I have been away from home 2 of the weekends. One for a scrapbooking weekend, the other this past weekend for Women of Faith. I have had a lot of meetings, commitments and working late or different positions at school (subbing for teachers, lots and last minute) making things crazy. Michael has had to be dropped of at Grandma's more, picked up by Gary and or daycare more and the house is a pit. Making me stressed, and Michael act out I think. Not sure if it was me, his dad leaving, the crazy schedule, the lack of sleep or what. But he got into some bad bad trouble with Grandma the first weekend I was out of town and then still after I lectured him he got into big trouble at school the very next day. Resulting in everything being taken out of his room, severe punishment and a month of trying to crack down on him and set him straight again. He has been slowly earning things back for a few days at a time of good behavior. He finally got it all back just yesterday since this past week his behavior was exceptional and I was ready to have it all out of my office and my space back.. lol

I have decided to make some changes at both my jobs, but unsure if the changes will be for the better or not. They could be, I hope they will be, but it is all still a risk and not sure if it will really be for the good or not until I do it and that makes me nervous. The changes take place this fall, but need to find a sitter NOW for Michael that I can put into place, tryout, get used to and have ready for the fall.. OR even use now too as KC is gone and I have been working some Saturdays. Then at the school, I will be going to subbing certified (teacher) in the fall, it pays a bit more per hour, gives me more hours per day, but could be hurting me if I don't get 4-5 days a week to make up the money I get now. I will be going to Target on 1 full work day and Saturdays, making it only 2 early mornings for me and Michael and not 4. Allowing me more rest, more evenings to myself, more time to get things done and more rest for Michael. Just worried what the boss will say about the needed changes and again worried about the money subbing will bring in.

Money is bad, real bad again. We did pretty good in Jan-Mar. But April hit hard with his birthday, Easter, family birthdays, spring expenses and now the house is not done yet, need to make some repairs around here, etc and seem to be falling behind even more and never getting ahead.

Just about the only good thing that has happened this last month or two was that I was asked to teach Kindergarten summer school this year. Yes it is only for a month, but so so happy to be asked. It is M-Th, 8:30-12:30, so still getting me off about 3 hours earlier and giving me time to spend with Michael, go to the park, relax and play this summer. It goes for 4 weeks, from the end of June to the end of July. That means I have 1 week from the end of school before this starts, but during that time I still have tons of work to do. I have 20 hours at the school to put in, plus I have to be "boss" for that week at Target... always something I tell ya. This summer school job pays well., but since I am behind from April and May already and will not have the school job in Aug or much in Sept, I will not be able to put much towards debt, but hope it just covers these upcoming slow times. Ugh then there is Winter break, 2 weeks in Dec. where schools is closed... is subbing really the right way to go?!?!?

As I said I went to my scrap retreat Mother's day weekend and had a great relaxing time. I got about 11-13 pages done and boy did that feel good. I have not had a chance to scrap since we have been back, but I hope to change that this summer and get caught up again. Always so much to do. Having my office picked up some, gives me a chance to organize my closet in here and get all motivated to scrap in my newly cleaned area.. woohoo..

Then this past weekend I was at Women of Faith, omg that was so so very needed. I have had a month from Hell and last week it all came to a head with terrible stressors. It was a great break and I came back really ready to try again here at home. I cleaned for like 6 hours yesterday and was so patient with Michael, and it was good to see him so loving, willing to help, obedient, etc. It was a good day while it lasted.. lol I love life better when the house is clean, this usually happens more in the summer. I always try to get it all good and cleaned all in one day, get all tired out so I can relax and enjoy it. but no matter how much I clean in one day there is still so much to do and outsiders would ever be able to tell I even did a thing. I am not sure how much I can keep the house clean this summer, even though the sun gets me motivated, I have a busy schedule. I really want to take Michael fishing and camping and hang with him a bunch, but I still got hours to work at the school, Target, summer school, inside and outside housework to do (and outside needs a ton like it always does at the beginning of the season).. sigh. And maybe after all that, still clean and find time to read a book, sit and have me time, scrap, etc.. YEAH RIGHT!



So anyway.. if you made it this far, that is just some of the happenings at the Oaks house since last time.

thanks for reading :)